Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage if One or Both of You is in Law Enforcement

Photo by Niki Sanders on Unsplash

Let’s face it, marriage is hard when at least one of you is in law enforcement. Both of you love each other, but the job can take its toll on a marriage. Between the loneliness of the person who is not on patrol to the sometimes soul-crushing work that you just can’t quite shake off when you get home at night, it can be sometimes hard to connect with each other. The statistics on divorce for law enforcement are not great either. However, there are a lot of ways to strengthen your relationship so that it can be a source of joy and comfort as you navigate family and work life together.

Do activities outside of work that have nothing to do with law enforcement. Police work is difficult and serious. Take time for fun activities together as a couple and as individuals. Go to the movies. Take beautiful hikes together. Plan vacations to beautiful places. Learn to dance. Whatever you wanted to learn and do, now is the time. Having a life outside of the team and the workplace can really help you to remember who you are and why you are together.

Work on your conversation skills. Cops often have to make important decisions immediately without wavering. This does not work well for the majority of communication within a marriage. Find ways to show your spouse that you heard what they said. Find ways to show curiosity and interest in their point of view. Learn to work on your tone so that it is friendly and casual. There are so many great resources available for working on communication skills.

Do extra for your spouse. If you are the first responder, remember that first response is for everyone but your spouse. When you come home, be a first responder to their needs. Remember that they have given a lot for you to be able to do your work. Bring home something special for them, set aside time to talk with each other and just relax in each other’s arms. You both need each other.

Tune-up your marriage regularly. A lot of couples think that everything is just fine, until it isn’t. Many see couples counseling as a last resort and wait until a moment of crisis to seek it. The fact is that couples counseling is often used in very successful marriages to stay at the top of their game and work through problems before they become unsolvable.

Prioritize your relationship and your family. It’s easy to get caught up into an us/them mentality with your work. It can be hard to compartmentalize everything from work when you get home. Remember that no matter how great your bonds are with your team, it’s your family that will be there for you in the long run. Prioritize them and they will support your work and in turn, your work family.

If you would like to start working on your marriage to keep it strong so that you can keep going out there and doing your best in law enforcement, contact us today. We proudly work with all types of law enforcement, first responders, and military to support you and your family.